Greyscale
by CeruleanStarGlow
Summary: A song about mark watching roger die, from mark's point of view- And there are words on that paper, black and white/ So unchanged and unaffected, without dappled golden light


The world has turned so many shades of gray

There's no hue of golden in the white light of today

I can't see the colors, the green trees, and yellow light

All that I can see, is black, and silver, grey and white

-

And there you are

You're standing right beside me

You are standing by my side

There's no color in your eyes

-

No matter how hard you try, there is no way that you can see

You cannot see, can't understand how much that scares me

-

I'm watching you

As you're looking right at me

And of all the things I see

I can't tear my mind away

From your empty eyes

As you're standing by my side

I see nothing in your eyes

-

All I see is a caricature of who you used to be

All that I can see, is that you're going to die before me

All that I can see, is the grayscale hospital room

An infectious feeling, of emptiness and gloom

-

There you are

You're standing right beside me

You're standing by my side

And there is nothing in your eyes

-

No matter what you do, there is no what you can know

Simply cannot understand how much I miss your lively glow

-

I'm watching you

And you try to look away

But then your eyes catch sight of grey

You finally see

That blankness agitating me

But you still don't know

That you have lost your lively glow

-

And there are words on that paper, black and white

So unchanged and unaffected, without dappled golden light

And the bright and blank fluorescents are just washing me away

Into that hospital room, that's so monotonous and gray

-

There you are

You're standing right beside me

You're standing by my side

And there is nothing in your eyes

-

And that caricature, that is all I see of you

The number on this paper makes it seem so true

One hundred and seventy three

Never meant so much to me

-

Before today

It didn't mean aids

-

I am watching you,

And you turn away

For a moment I'm relieved

From your eyes, so empty and grey

But still I can tell

That your lively aura's gone

It's turned a dark and dappled grey

I haven't seen it in so long

-

But I know I must remember you as you are today

Because at least right now, you aren't yet wasting away

You may be here with me in this hospital room

But you aren't on your deathbed, wilting in the gray and gloom

-

I am watching you

And if I look close

There's a spark in your eyes

Not quite sorrow, not morose

I am watching you

And I can still see life

It's just blurred and buried

Under layers of strife

-

But I'm dreading the day, when that spark cannot be found

That day when your livelihood and courage has drowned

I'm dreading the day that I will have to watch you die

That day when the spark of life will leave your eyes

-

I can see past that caricature of you

But someday I know, that won't be true

When you're a stereotype, waiting for your death

When I hold you in my arms as you take your last breath

-

I'm watching you

And I hold this picture in my mind

So that when you are wasting away

I'll remember you as you are today

I'm watching you

And I see that spark in your eye

And I'm dreading so much

The day that I will see it die

-

So many months later

I'm standing by your side

I'm holding you close and

I'm looking in your eyes

And it's such a surprise

That there's still life in your eyes

And maybe it's not color

But it's life that never dies

-

I'm watching you

And your eyes are dappled gray

And there beautiful and alive

Like they weren't yesterday

-

And then, just moments later when the steady blip has slowed

I'm remembering the times, when you still glowed

And I'm staring down, into your eyes

And I choke out a sob, when I see the spark has died

-

I'm watching you

As you're eyes point right at me

And of all the things I see

I can't tear my mind away

From your empty eyes

As you're laying by my side

I see nothing in your eyes

-

All I see is a caricature of who you used to be

All that I can see, is that you've died before me

All that I can see, is the grayscale hospital room

An infectious feeling, of emptiness and gloom

-

The world has turned so many shades of gray

There's no hue of golden in the white light of today

I can't see the colors, the green trees, and yellow light

All that I can see, is black, and silver, grey and white

--

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